Yesterday I shared about a crisis our family found itself facing 19 years ago. Here is the continuation….
Where do we go from here…..
After returning home from my Grandmothers funeral we began the journey to rebuild what was lost. Several strange things stand out in my mind during that time. When you are involved in a natural disaster you become somewhat of an oddity to the community and people want to drive by and see your devastation. Due to us being underinsured we had to do a lot of the work ourselves. As we tried to move piles of bricks that had fallen off of our home by hand to dispose of them I was struck by the amount of onlookers that slowly drove by with their wide eyes staring at us work, long lines of them for days. We joked that maybe if we gave each one of them a brick to take home as a tornado souvenir that would be an easy way to get rid of this massive pile of rock! I also noted that while going through hard times in your life you will be amazed and grateful and sometimes a little disappointed because some people that you think will be there during that time are not, but God sends others that you never would have expected to be there to show up and lend a hand. It was at that time that I learned to rely on God and not people so much. We couldn’t have made it through that time without the wonderful people God DID send to help us get through it! We worked for months with two small girls right by our side. We were able to move into a rental house for the time we worked on the house which was nice. The adversity from not having as much insurance as was needed forced us to learn skills we never had before in home construction. Little did we know that this time of growing would allow us to build a new
home years later, which is where we reside now. Our daughters learned new skills even at their young age. We plodded through the remainder of that winter gradually rebuilding the things that we had lost.
It blows in a like Lion…….
We continued to work on the house into the spring and then April arrived. John was gone working one day and the sky turned jet black. The sky looked ominous and the weatherman was throwing that word “tornado” around again. I felt a fear rise up in me that I had never felt before, that is since the day of the tornado. All kinds of thoughts ran through my head that got even more irrational as the minutes passed. I was shaking, I couldn’t sit still and I didn’t want to be alone there. I “knew” in my head that God had protected me once and more then likely he would again and I knew not to put all my trust in people but this fear was like a whole different entity that would override everything that I “knew.” Needless to say this didn’t improve. That pivotal moment came when one day before an impending bad storm was on its way that I got our girls into the car and fled to the nearest store so I didn’t have to be there alone in case a tornado hit, that day I realized this thing had gotten way out of hand! Whoa!
5 things I do to deal with fear…
I am by no means saying I am fearless. I still struggle with fear but I have come a long way! I do fine with storms now and may even sleep through them at night. I am still bothered when the wind reaches a certain level. It’s almost like a little switch goes off in me when I hear that particular sound and I have to work a little harder to remain calm. But overall I am leaps and bounds better! Here are some of the steps I take and would apply to other situations where fear comes into play.
Recognize what triggers your fear….. I used to stand there and study the sky and listen to the wind in the hopes that I could recognize the impending danger and make a run for it. All that did was trigger more fear. I was looking , waiting and watching for the storm that was coming. Now I go about my business cooking dinner or whatever I was doing. Many times now I even forget there are storms in the area. I’m not saying stick your head in the sand but focusing on it makes the fear grow.
Watch what you’re watching…. what you constantly feed will grow. I don’t know about in your area but the weatherman talks about those storms coming for six hours ahead of time and we get a blow by blow account of each place these dangerous storms are hitting before it reaches us. Holy Cow! It’s enough to scare anyone! It’s the same with anything you fear. Make sure you are not taking to much of it into your mind. Whether it be shows with a lot of violence or to much talk radio focusing on what is wrong throughout the world. How about watching horror movies or maybe a day long marathon of criminal minds? You’ll be a paranoid mess if you do to much of that! Focus on good, pleasant things. Turn the media off and look for something peaceful to do to give your mind that quiet time it needs. I wonder if our human minds were designed to see all that it sees on an ongoing basis on tv, movies or online? It just wasn’t created to deal with that much in one lifetime.
Look at the odds…. without getting into to much analyzing of your life constantly you could take a few minutes to consider the odds of what you fear actually happening. If I look at my situation the odds are not real high that our home would be demolished twice with me inside of it. Stats sometimes can be good to look at. How likely is it that what you fear the most will ever happen? How many years have you worried about that thing happening? Has it happened yet in all of the years you’ve worried about it? Look at all of the years you wasted worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet?
Lean on your faith….I have to do this. He’s gotten me through so much despite my silly fear. If I ever stepped out and walked through it relying on God to take the reigns he has brought me through it every single time. When I get fearful I talk to him about it. He won’t belittle me and he already knows it anyways! I read and write down scriptures about fear and how to cope and have stood at the precipice of a storm several times praying and quietly saying the verses of comfort.
Remember where you came from…..Have you ever reflected back on all of the things you HAVE come through? I bet if you looked at it all you would be amazed at how strong you really are and how much God does guide you through. Just me typing our story made me realize how much we were able to come through at once. I bet you would be surprised how much you’ve come through. Be empowered! You are stronger and more courageous then you thought! Give yourself some credit and step out there the next time you are afraid, arm yourself with one of those situations in your mind and how you were able to covercome it.
Have a plan….I felt better when I had some sort of plan. I guess it made me feel that I did have a little bit of control in a situation that once was totally out of my control. We have a safe place to go now. I have thought about what I would do if confronted with certain situations in different places. It doesn’t hurt to be organized and have a plan in the event of an emergency. Don’t let it turn into chronic worrying though. Just think of how you would handle a scenario and then let it go. No need to continually think about it!
Seek help… talking with a professional about your fears is not a bad plan if you need extra help. I have also taken some natural calming supplements when I needed them like Lemon balm, Ltheanine and some extra magnesium when feeling stressed. It really helps.
One of my all time favorite quotes is “Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear” -George Addair
I know that these were two really long posts! Sometimes reading what others have dealt with gives you the little added boost to get through some of your own tough times and I hope that’s the case. Check back tomorrow when we get back to more light hearted posts!
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